


before you leave again

by iteite



Category: Naruto
Genre: A few years after the war, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Love Confessions, M/M, Mutual Pining, Naruto's pov, Shikamaru and Sakura are in this very briefly so there's that too, i don't know i'm terrible with tagging
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-01
Updated: 2021-03-01
Packaged: 2021-03-14 03:08:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,675
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29785551
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iteite/pseuds/iteite
Summary: Naruto has been in love with Sasuke for years. Even though Sasuke was constantly gone, his feelings never went away.He kept it to himself. Until this time.
Relationships: Uchiha Sasuke/Uzumaki Naruto
Comments: 25
Kudos: 152
Collections: Best of SNS, Extraordinary SNS Fics💕





	before you leave again

**Author's Note:**

> Hiiiiii!
> 
> I wasn't going to post this until tomorrow. But while I prepared the draft I pressed send without meaning to (I didn't even have the summary written I don't even know how it happened!). Since it had sent some people the notification already I felt like I just had to post it tonight (even though I panicked and deleted the whole thing and people will get two notifications... sorry!!!)
> 
> I don't even know what I had tried to go for here, I just sat down one day to write and this came out. I am happy with the result though, so I hope you enjoy!
> 
> Disclaimer as usual, this has no beta and English is not my first language so I apologise in advance for any mistakes!
> 
> Thank you so much for reading ❤

“… and then Gaara is supposed to arrive in two days for that meeting, so I think we should…” Shikamaru kept talking, but Naruto just blocked his voice out.

It was unusual of Naruto to not pay attention. Being the Hokage brought so many responsibilities, and he always wanted to make sure he was up to the title. However, this time he had turned the swivel chair to look out the window of his office, hoping Shikamaru wouldn’t realise his mind was somewhere else.

“Naruto,” Shikamaru called out eventually, sounding rather annoyed.

Naruto let out a soft sigh, guessing Shikamaru did realise. Of course, it was Naruto’s own fault for thinking he wouldn’t, as if his friend and counsellor didn’t know him well enough after all those years.

Naruto turned the swivel chair back to face the desk, faking a big, bright smile. He scratched the back of his neck nervously, hoping he didn’t give himself away –even if he was being an obvious asshole.

“I’m sure you’ll do a great job,” Naruto said, hoping those were the appropriate words to say.

By the way Shikamaru sighed and his face turned into an annoyed frown, Naruto knew he had definitely failed.

“What’s wrong with you today?” Shikamaru asked, and he seemed to be trying really hard to not groan at Naruto. “You’re always more focused than this.”

“I am focused!” Naruto quickly defended himself.

“I told you that _you_ needed to get those documents…” Shikamaru said, pointing to a folder in his desk, “… read and signed for tomorrow. And you said _I’ll_ do a great job.”

Naruto blinked a couple of times, and he couldn’t help his laugh, rubbing his bandaged hand over his forehead, trying to hide his embarrassment.

“Maybe I was hoping to fool you into doing my job?” Naruto tried, sounding so convinced of it that it would definitely sound like the truth to someone else. Not to Shikamaru, though.

“You’re the leader of Konoha, the hidden village of one of the Five Great Shinobi Countries. Get your shit together, Naruto,” Shikamaru said in such a serious tone it actually scared Naruto a bit.

Naruto sighed a bit, resigned, and looked down to the folder on the table. For a moment he was determined to just start doing what he was supposed to do as the Hokage –paperwork, paperwork and even more paperwork. Instead, he looked up at his friend.

“How long has it been since Sasuke’s last visit?” Naruto asked. 

It wasn’t like Naruto didn’t keep count. He remembered saying goodbye to him –again– four months, two weeks and six days ago right by Konoha’s gates. He remembered the disappointment he always got when Sasuke, once more, decided he was better off gone; he remembered Sasuke’s snort when he had realised Naruto was holding back his tears, and he definitely remembered Sasuke’s last words.

_I’ll be back before you even have time miss me, moron._

He remembered them so, so clearly, because they had been such a lie.

“Oh, so it’s about him?” Shikamaru asked back mindlessly, as if it wasn’t his first time dealing with this.

“No. I was just wondering…” Naruto started, interrupting himself with a shrug before he could start rambling. “Please review the agreement Iwa sent us the other day. I want to make sure it’s exactly what we wanted before we sign it,” he added in the most Hokage-like voice he could muster.

“Alright,” Shikamaru said lazily, picking up that particular scroll. “Go home and rest. You seem exhausted,” he added.

And just like that, Naruto was alone in his office, once again.

He didn’t want to go home, because the feeling of loneliness was usually worse there, where he didn’t have a huge pile of files that he needed to work on or shinobis coming in and out constantly and distracting him. Back home, he was alone with his thoughts and nothing else.

At least he could be of use if he stayed here. It was a great relationship, what he had with Konoha: he gave his best to keep the village working and protected, and all the work it brought kept Naruto distracted. He worked hard –too hard, according to Sakura– but it was worth it, both for himself and Konoha.

So he grabbed the folder Shikamaru had pointed out before and started focusing on it, even when his mind kept drifting to dark hair and changing eyes.

––––––––––––

“Hokage-sama?”

Naruto woke up at the sound, but he didn’t open his eyes. It had been four years since he had been promoted, but he still couldn’t get used to people calling him that, always reacting a bit too late.

“Naruto,” another female voice insisted, and he couldn’t help letting out a groan.

He slowly opened his eyes just to see Sakura, Shikamaru and another shinobi he didn’t recognise there –she worked in the Konoha Aviary building, judging by her clothes.

“I can’t believe you fell asleep in your office _again,_ ” a very annoyed Sakura said.

She always worried too much. When Naruto was younger –and way dumber– he had felt the luckiest person in the world. He just felt slightly annoyed those days, because she just didn’t _understand._

“I hope you didn’t drool all over the paperwork,” Shikamaru added with a sigh. “Last time we had to replace at least three scrolls,” he added, explaining it to everyone in the room and no one in particular.

Naruto sighed and rubbed his face, slowly coming back to his senses. He felt his back hurt and his neck was starting to bother him, but those weren’t new feelings to him.

“What did you want?” Naruto asked, yawning.

“This message arrived for you, Hokage-sama,” the shinobi he didn’t know said, handing Naruto a small roll.

Naruto took it and slowly unrolled it. If he hadn’t just woken up after a very short, disturbing sleep, he knew he would’ve gotten his hopes up and would’ve almost ripped the roll with eagerness to see what it was. But to be honest, he wasn’t even sure he was awake.

_I’ll be there by midnight._

Naruto read it once, and he was about to just put it down and forget about it when he processed it. Then he read it over and over, a wide smile spreading over his face without even realising.

He didn’t need a signature to know who was sending him this –he’d recognise that neat handwriting anywhere, any time.

“Sasuke’s coming back tonight,” Naruto said, trying to contain his excitement. He was Hokage, after all, he couldn’t just–

Before he had even finished that train of thought he was already standing up and gathering his stuff quickly, unable to stop smiling widely as he _almost_ gave little, excited jumps from one place to the other.

Shikamaru and the other girl seemed unaffected by it, and Naruto wanted to shake them until they did something, until they felt the same kind of happiness he was feeling. At least Sakura seemed to react.

“Finally,” she said with a big smile, as if it was the best thing she could’ve heard all month.

Naruto knew the feeling way too well.

––––––––––––

Naruto was waiting by the main door even before the sun had even set. It was already a tradition of them –Sasuke would let him know around what time he’d arrive, and Naruto would be there way too early just in case Sasuke had miscalculated. Then Naruto would lie about how much time he had been waiting, because Sasuke was always on time. However, Naruto never stopped arriving early.

The shinobi in charge of guarding the gates at night were already aware of this. And while at first they had mocked Naruto, they had quickly given up on it, because they probably realised Naruto wasn’t even _listening_ to them. His mind was only focused on one thing, and that was Sasuke and Sasuke only.

He thought on the way Sasuke would react when he saw Naruto –probably with indifference, as always, but Naruto still had hope one day Sasuke would seem as happy to see him as Naruto felt. He also wondered if Sasuke would want to stay over at his apartment, if he would spend as much time with Naruto as possible, if he would want to take Naruto away for a whole day as he usually did.

Naruto wondered if this time he’d brave enough to tell Sasuke.

As soon as that thought crossed his mind, he discarded it. Because no matter how brave he felt, how badly he wanted to come clean with him, he wasn’t ready to lose everything he would be losing if he did.

How bad a life of longing could be, anyway? It wasn’t like Naruto wasn’t used to it. He had always longed for something, whether it was attention and recognition, or his best friend coming back home and stay. Better a life of longing than having the person object of his longing gone forever just because Naruto couldn't keep his feelings at bay.

Naruto decided to talk to the guards for a long while, since he was Hokage and he had to keep up appearances –and maybe to kill some time–, but then he decided to sit down outside the gates, his back pressed against a tree. The sun had set, and Naruto looked up as the stars were starting to appear in the summer sky.

It had been _years_ since the first time Sasuke had come back from that stupid redemption trip, as he called it. But Naruto still felt the same kind of nervousness as he had felt so long ago, the same kind of excitement. He had only been 18 and was just starting to understand himself and his own mind. Before that, it hadn’t been easy to sit down and reflect on his thoughts when every day was a constant fight –to keep himself alive, to keep others alive and still train and get better and better so he would be able to get Sasuke back.

After the war, it had been different. Peace had given him more free time to spend than he could ever fill with training and friends and missions. And Sasuke was gone again, but not lost as he had once been, so he didn’t have to put any kind of effort in trying to find him. It had been tough at first, not knowing what to do with so many empty hours in his day –and without realising it, he had started to make peace with himself.

The first time Sasuke had arrived from his trip, almost ten years ago, Naruto had had no real clue of why he got so excited, so happy. His friends left on long missions and came back so often, and Naruto had never felt like _this._ He had assumed it was because deep down he would always be scared Sasuke would decide to never come back again..

But at that point, at the age of 27, Naruto definitely knew the actual reason. It hadn’t even surprised him when the realisation had hit him. He could remember the moment as clear as if it had been the previous day, even though it had been six years ago. Sasuke had come back after almost seven months of being away, and they had been sparring for hours so they had decided to just lay on the grass of the training ground to catch their breath.

Sasuke was more talkative than usual that day, and he was telling Naruto about some clan he had found in the Land of Hot Water with a really interesting _kekkei genkai._ Sasuke was looking up at the clouds passing by above them as he talked; Naruto, on the other hand, was focused on Sasuke’s face, because he would always be terrified of looking away and realise he was gone again.

And then Sasuke had turned to look at him with a small, gentle smile that Naruto had only ever seen directed towards him, and then the thought had crossed his mind for the very first time.

_I’m in love with you._

Naruto had always believed that when he fell in love, he would freak out and be confused and definitely feel way more nervous and anxious than this. But instead, a wave of calmness washed over him, and he had _laughed_ in relief, because at least he understood why his heart raced every time he even thought of Sasuke, why he felt the constant need to touch him and have him close, why he didn’t seem to be able to function properly when he had been gone for too long. It had made so much sense, and Naruto felt so stupid for not having realised earlier.

“What are you laughing at?” Sasuke had said, an amused smile plastered over his face.

“Nothing,” Naruto had quickly replied, because there’s no way he could be honest about _that._ “I’m just really happy you’re here.”

After Sasuke had left again, Naruto almost convinced himself that it was a bad idea. That being in love with his best friend would only bring him misery and sorrow and that it was definitely something he should stop as soon as he were able to. Naruto had been a fool though, because the same way he hadn’t decided to fall in love with him, he wouldn’t be able to stop feeling the way he did by his own choice.

He had been wrong, too. Because the love he felt for Sasuke never, not once, made him feel sad or upset or regret it. Of course, he would miss him whenever he was gone –and there were bad feelings attached to missing someone, that was certain. He wasn’t new to those feelings though, and other than that he was just happy to feel like that for Sasuke.

And even though he felt some kind of excitement and nervousness whenever he was about to finally see Sasuke again, like that night, he usually just felt… calmness while he was with him. Naruto was never the kind of person to feel like that –his mind was constantly racing and his body was constantly moving without him even paying too much thought to it. But whenever Sasuke was around, his mind slowed down and his body relaxed, and Naruto could only feel at ease.

It reminded him of the way he felt when he woke up early in the morning but didn’t have anything to do or anywhere to go. When all he could hear breaking the stillness was the wind through the trees and the birds starting to chirp, and nothing else. It reminded him on the way the sun felt on his skin after a few rainy days, or the warm water against his shoulders when he showered after a very long day, or the wave of relaxation that hit him when he finally managed to stop after a fit of laughter.

He had also believed being in love would bring possessiveness and jealousy along. He had seen it in his friends, how love made them insecure and fear every single person that even talked to their significant other. Naruto never thought that was good or healthy, but at the same time he knew he didn’t have the right to judge because he didn’t feel what they felt. And the moment he realised what he felt for Sasuke, he expected to feel the same way, but it never came. Not even when Sasuke had told him about that girl he had met in Kiri and had spent a few nights with, not when Sasuke told Naruto he might have to find someone and settle down soon.

Because Naruto felt like no matter what, Sasuke’s happiness was all that mattered. He had assumed soon enough that Sasuke would _never_ want him that way, and Naruto was strangely okay with it. He had accepted that one day he’d attend Sasuke’s wedding with someone else, and that thought only brough Naruto joy. Sasuke deserved happiness after everything he had gone through, after all that he had suffered, and Naruto would be an asshole to not feel happy for his friend if he found that happiness, even if it weren’t with him.

So Naruto had kept it to himself all those years. He hadn’t told anyone, because Naruto didn’t think it was fair that someone else knew before Sasuke himself. And he didn’t tell Sasuke because Naruto was terrified it would destroy everything they had been able to build together over the years. It hadn’t been easy for Sasuke to trust him again, to rely on him, and Naruto felt like something like this would ruin all the progress he had done.

It was getting harder and harder, though. Because Naruto had accepted his feelings so easily, had even embraced them and rejoiced on them, that he felt the words slipping out more often than not.

_Thank you for paying for dinner, Sasuke. I love_ – _this restaurant._

_That punch really hurt, asshole! You’re so lucky I’m in lo_ – _I’m not a vindictive bitch like you are._

_Please stay for a few more days? I just lo_ – _don’t want you to leave yet._

Naruto sighed as he realised his plan of not telling him, ever, was probably going to be ruined if he just kept doing that. He wondered what would be better, to just let it slip out and let Sasuke find out that way, or if he should plan something instead and do it on his own terms. Both options seemed equally bad and terrifying.

“You know you really don’t have to come wait for me every time, right?” a familiar voice said, making Naruto snap out of his own thoughts immediately.

Naruto quickly looked ahead of him, and before he even had time to process it he had stood up from the floor, only to tackle Sasuke down in a really tight hug.

“Naruto,” Sasuke groaned in fake annoyance once he hit the ground.

Naruto couldn’t bring himself to care, not when he could feel Sasuke’s laugh against his chest. It really was one of the best feelings in the world.

“You’re a dumbass,” Naruto grinned, not getting off Sasuke yet, because that would be one of the _very_ few times Sasuke would allow contact between them during his stay, and Naruto planned to make the most out of it. “And you smell like crap.”

“Wow, thank you,” Sasuke said sarcastically, moving to pinch the skin aboveNaruto’s ribs through his clothes rather hard. Naruto didn’t even flinch. “You tell me how you smell when you spend three days sleeping on the floor.”

Naruto laughed again, deciding he was already testing his luck by staying on top of Sasuke like that. He pulled back slowly, standing up and helping Sasuke do the same as well. Sasuke wiped his pants and his cape very dramatically, as if two minutes laying on the ground was worse than bathing oneself in mud.

“C’mon, asshole. I’m exhausted,” Naruto said, starting to walk back inside the walls.

“How long were you waiting for me?” Sasuke asked, quickly catching up with Naruto.

“I don’t know. I think… thirty minutes?” Naruto blatantly lied, because he was not ready to admit how long it had actually been.

“Right,” Sasuke said, not sounding convinced at all. “Again, you really don’t have to come wait for me every time. I know where your apartment is.”

“And what if I’m not there to open the door for you?” Naruto asked.

Sasuke didn’t have an answer for that, so he just shrugged and kept looking ahead of him as they walked past the gates. Naruto knew Sasuke didn’t really have anywhere else to go, apart from one of the hotels in Konoha, or Sakura’s place, since he had refused to rebuild the Uchiha compound. Even if he was just one of the very few available options for Sasuke, Naruto was still happy that Sasuke chose him.

––––––––––––

The streets were mostly empty, apart from a couple of shinobi doing their surveillance rounds and a few civilians going back home. Naruto was dressed as casual as possible, hoping to avoid people trying to talk to him. He usually loved it, but not that day, not when all he wanted to do was to lay down with Sasuke in his bed and catch up until one of them –usually Naruto– fell asleep.

Sasuke barely opened his mouth to talk, something Naruto was used to. Sasuke normally stayed quiet unless they were safely inside the walls of Naruto’s apartment, or his office, or just by themselves in the training ground or somewhere else. It was like he _needed_ to know they were completely alone to feel comfortable enough to talk to him. Naruto felt bad for liking being the only one who got the real version of Sasuke, because it was probably selfish, but at the same time it wasn’t _his_ fault Sasuke behaved like that.

Naruto filled the silence by telling Sasuke the latest thing the council had approved, about his dinner with Iruka the other day, about his new training habits. Sasuke just listened, nodding every once in a while to let Naruto know he was paying attention. Sometimes he even made a comment on something or called Naruto an idiot.

It made Naruto the happiest person in the whole village, and probably the whole continent.

“Should I take out the futon?” Naruto asked once they got inside the apartment.

It had been the obvious choice, all those years ago when Sasuke had come back for the first time. Sasuke, of course, would take the bed because Naruto insisted. He, on the other hand, would take the futon, placed carefully right next to the bed.

Naruto couldn’t really remember when it had been the last time he had taken the futon out of the closet to sleep on it, though. He just knew that one day Sasuke had told him they could just share the bed because it was big enough, so he didn’t need to bother with it. And Naruto hadn’t found the strength to reject such an offer.

Still, Naruto always asked. It was the polite thing to do, wasn’t it?

“Don’t bother,” Sasuke always replied.

And Naruto never insisted.

Naruto took off his sandals, stretching his arms a bit and hiding a yawn with his hand afterwards. He could feel Sasuke’s gaze on him, but he didn’t move to check that he was, in fact, looking at him.

“Did you eat?” Naruto asked.

“Mhmm,” Sasuke hummed simply. “Would you mind if I used the shower?”

“Go ahead,” Naruto replied.

Before he realised, Sasuke was already gone inside the bathroom. Naruto used that time to get changed into the clothes he usually wore at home, just some shorts and a white t-shirt with the Uzumaki spiral. Then he laid in bed, waiting for Sasuke to come out, fighting to keep his eyes open, because he just wanted, _needed_ to be able to talk to Sasuke for a while longer. Maybe if he just closed them for a few seconds…

––––––––––––

“Naruto,” Sasuke said softly.

Naruto opened his eyes quickly, his heart beating hard against his chest at the sudden sound. The first thing he realised was just how close Sasuke’s face was to his, water droplets falling off the tip of his dark locks onto the pillow and Naruto’s cheeks.

“Were you asleep?” Sasuke asked.

“No,” Naruto said quickly. “Just thinking.”

“With your eyes closed,” Sasuke deadpanned.

“Yes,” Naruto said, probably way too quickly.

He wished Sasuke would move his face away, would put some distance between them, but at the same time he wished he would just move closer, he would just lean over and –

“Well, sorry for interrupting such a rare phenomenon that only occurs once in a blue moon,” Sasuke said with a smirk.

“Assho–!”

“Can I borrow some clothes?” Sasuke interrupted him.

Naruto realised then that Sasuke just had a towel around his hips, and that he only needed to reach out with his left hand to be able to touch the soft skin of his chest, to run his fingers across the different scars that Sasuke had gotten all over his life.

He _almost_ did it, but Naruto knew better than to actually carry it through.

“You know where they are,” Naruto managed to say, sounding more like a croak than his actual voice.

Sasuke didn’t comment on it, his gaze lingering on Naruto’s eyes for a few more seconds than necessary. Naruto wondered if Sasuke knew the effect he had on him, if he was only doing this to prove that point in his own mind. Eventually, Sasuke moved away, and Naruto was allowed to finally breath.

Naruto turned to his side, watching as Sasuke went through Naruto’s clothes carefully, always making sure to leave every shirt he touched perfectly folded, every pant he took off the hanger on its initial position. Naruto wondered why he needed so much time to just pick clothes to sleep, but he never voiced out his thoughts, because it would mean to cut short the few minutes he was able to spend watching the muscles on Sasuke’s back flexing with his movements.

Finally, Sasuke seemed happy with his choice, holding grey sweatpants and a black t-shirt in his hand. He turned, checking if Naruto was still awake.

“Don’t look,” Sasuke commanded.

“Nothing I didn’t see before,” Naruto reminded him just to be a pain.

“Has grown a bit since you last saw it, moron,” Sasuke commented.

Naruto laughed and looked at him for a few more seconds before he turned his whole body to look towards the wall instead of just closing his eyes, because he didn’t think he was strong enough to not peek.

Only when he felt Sasuke’s weight on the mattress he moved again to face him. Sasuke was already looking at him, a soft smile on his face.

“You seem happy to be back,” Naruto said without really thinking.

He knew it wasn’t true. Maybe Sasuke was happy to see him, and Sakura and Kakashi, but if he were truly happy to be back he would _stay._ And he never did. It was painful to watch, how Sasuke would grow restless and more nervous the more time he spent in Konoha, as if he couldn’t stand being there for more than a few weeks.

It wasn’t like Naruto didn’t understand. But he still wished for a different situation in which he didn’t have to be missing his friend for longer than he was able to see him.

“How busy are you tomorrow?” Sasuke asked instead of paying attention to Naruto’s comment.

“I have a meeting with Suna…” Naruto started and yawned, not having slept in his own bed for a couple of days taking its toll on him. “That means Shikamaru will want to go over it before and after. Other than that, I cleared my schedule,” he explained.

Sasuke’s smiled widened, even if just slightly.

“Get some rest then, or Gaara will be pissed if you fall asleep while he talks again,” Sasuke said not-so-jokingly.

It had happened once. Gaara had not been happy. Sasuke had laughed at Naruto for almost ten minutes when he had told him about it, a few months later.

“His voice is so monotone when he gets all professional!” Naruto groaned, trying to defend himself. “I told him to just talk to me like he usually does, but he doesn’t even know that his voice changes.”

Sasuke just smiled and kept staring at Naruto’s face, as if he were trying to remember every single detail of it. Naruto had gotten used to it at some point, because it was something that Sasuke seemed to enjoy doing after spending so much time away.

“Sleep,” Sasuke insisted, probably seeing all the signs that showed Naruto was exhausted.

“Ugh, but you just got back!” Naruto complained. “You need to tell me a lot of things, like did you meet new people again? Did you finally travel to that island you’ve been meaning to go? Oooh, did you–?”

“Good night, Naruto,” Sasuke cut him off, letting out a soft chuckle as he closed his eyes.

Naruto pouted and thought of insisting even though he already knew it wasn’t worth it. Sasuke was just as stubborn as him, after all, if not more.

“Good night, Sasuke,” Naruto replied in the end, eventually convincing himself to close his eyes and stop staring at his friend’s face.

––––––––––––

It was the best week Naruto had had in months. He spent almost every second of his free time with Sasuke, and even when he had work to do that couldn’t be postponed or delegated to someone else, Sasuke would be there with him.

Having Sasuke with him always made Naruto extremely happy.

That was until he saw the signs that Sasuke was getting ready to leave again, like asking Sakura to make a batch of soldier pills just for him, or buying new, more comfortable sandals, or starting to look towards the direction of the main gates of Konoha more often than not. Then, Naruto couldn’t help getting upset at the thought of Sasuke leaving.

Eight days after coming back, Sasuke had decided to take Naruto away. He always did it, as if he needed one last day filled with just Naruto’s presence before he left for another few months. And Naruto always cherished that time together, because Sasuke was more like himself the longer the distance between him and Konoha was, far away from anyone else’s presence.

“When are you leaving?” Naruto finally found the courage to ask, after having that question occupying every single one of his thoughts that day.

He hadn’t even realised he had cut off Sasuke mid-sentence, but at the same time Naruto couldn’t really care. Because suddenly he was just realising that time wasn’t like the others –he always took Sasuke leaving lightly, because he _knew_ he would be back soon. That time, however, Naruto couldn’t ignore that easily the sadness taking over his chest.

“Tomorrow morning, most likely” Sasuke said.

“Tomorrow morning,” Naruto repeated.

They had trekked to one of the mountains near Konoha, because Sasuke thought the views could be nice and that Naruto would enjoy them. Once they had gotten to the top, they decided to take a break, sitting on the edge of a cliff. The views had definitely been nice, but it wasn’t like Naruto was able to actually appreciate it, when all that was in his mind was the image of the back of his friend getting away from the gates, from _him._

“Is that okay?” Sasuke asked slowly.

Naruto wanted to laugh. _Of course not, asshole_ was what he would say, if he felt like he was entitled to it. 

“Yeah, of course. You know you’re not imprisoned here or anything, I’ll give you the needed permits,” Naruto mumbled, his eyes focused on the skyline.

“I didn’t ask the Hokage though,” Sasuke replied. “I asked my friend.”

Naruto then turned to look at him, finding out Sasuke was already studying his face closely.

“Of course it’s okay,” Naruto said again.

He couldn’t be the person that asked Sasuke to stay. He knew what Konoha meant to him, all the memories and thoughts the place brought him, and how badly it affected Sasuke. And Naruto couldn’t be the person that held him back, that forced him to be there when he didn’t want to be. Even if it hurt when Sasuke was away, it was better than knowing Sasuke was uncomfortable and unhappy just because of Naruto’s own selfish reasons. 

“You don’t have to lie to me.”

“If my opinion really mattered, you would’ve never left in the first place,” Naruto shrugged. “But this is not about me or what I want.”

“One day you should learn to stop putting the rest of the world first,” Sasuke said nonchalantly, as if it weren’t the main source of Naruto’s unhappiness at the moment.

“Okay then, imagine I tell you it’s not okay,” Naruto said, sounding more upset than he had intended to. “Imagine I tell you I don’t want you to leave. Will you stay?” he asked, turning to look ahead of him again because he did not want to see Sasuke’s face when he heard the reply he was fearing.

Sasuke remained quiet for what would’ve seemed like hours to Naruto if he hadn’t been counting the seconds in his head. _One Kumogakure, two Kumogakure, three Kumogakure…_

“Probably not,” Sasuke admitted after _nineteen_ seconds.

Naruto had to refrain himself from rubbing his eyes, had to refrain himself from showing Sasuke just how much it hurt him to hear him say that. How could two words feel like a bucket of ice-cold water thrown at his face, like a million of blades pressed against his heart?

“Exactly,” Naruto said and faked a laugh. “Let’s go back. I’m starving.”

“Naruto–”

“You can choose the place for dinner,” Naruto added, not really wanting to listen to whatever Sasuke had to say. “I doubt you’ll want ramen for your last night.”

Naruto stood up quickly, and Sasuke did the same with a sigh, as if he were just giving up from trying to make Naruto understand.

––––––––––––

That night, as Sasuke slept soundly next to him, Naruto couldn’t stop thinking _please just one more day_. Just one more day, that was all he was asking for. It was dumb, because it wasn’t like _anyone_ would listen –they hadn’t done it before, after all, not when he was only four begging for things to get better, to get easier; not when he was fifteen desperately wishing for the return of his best friend.

But there he was, trying again just in case this time he would be heard.

Sasuke’s mouth made a gentle twitch in his sleep, breaking for a moment the semblance of peace on his face. Naruto reached over, _almost_ brushing his fingertips against his bottom lip but quickly stopping himself. Sasuke hummed, probably dreaming, moving closer to Naruto until their faces were nearly touching and he could feel Sasuke’s warm breath against his own nose.

How bad would it be to close the space between them while Sasuke was asleep? Would Sasuke ever forgive him if he found out? Would at least help Naruto to just let go completely if he allowed himself to do it, just this once?

Naruto sighed and turned around to face the window, focusing on the waning moon.

_If I can get another day with him, I’ll tell him,_ he promised the moon –and himself.

––––––––––––

“It’s raining,” Sasuke said nonchalantly as he put another piece of fish from breakfast in his mouth.

Naruto looked out the window. It was way too early, but Sasuke had wanted to leave as soon as possible that day. And no matter how badly it would hurt to see him walk away, Naruto was going to go and say goodbye to him by the gates as he always did.

“Yeah,” Naruto replied mindlessly, thinking it was just Sasuke’s poor attempt of trying to make light conversation and lift the heavy burden in Naruto’s heart.

“I might as well stay another day. It’s not nice to be on the road while it rains,” Sasuke added, and Naruto quickly turned his head to look at him.

“Really?” he asked in disbelief.

Sasuke just nodded as he picked some rice with his chopsticks and ate it. Naruto couldn’t hide his wide smile. But it faltered when he realised what he had begged for the previous night, what he had promised in return. He suddenly felt too much like a coward, completely terrified of the possible outcome.

But there was no way he could go back on his word. He couldn’t keep it inside for longer, not as he watched Sasuke running his fingers through his already messy hair, as he offered Naruto more of the fish because he knew it was his favourite, as he patted Naruto’s head teasingly before he stood up to do the dishes.

No, Naruto _had_ to tell him.

––––––––––––

Sasuke didn’t want to leave Naruto’s apartment that day. It was pouring down, after all, and Naruto understood why going outside could be troublesome.

But he wished he would’ve done this before. He wished he had done it the previous day while they were watching the scenery, or the other day when Naruto had said something way too dumb that had made Sasuke laugh for five minutes straight. He wished the situation could be better because if he was about to tell Sasuke how he felt, he wanted to do it in a proper, nicer way.

Instead, they were locked in Naruto’s apartment. The situation wasn’t special, the place wasn’t special, _nothing_ was special.

And maybe Naruto was just trying to look for reasons to get out of his promise. Maybe, probably, he was just being a coward that was too scared to face the consequences of his feelings.

“You’re thinking too hard today,” Sasuke pointed out teasingly.

Naruto looked at him. Sasuke was stretched out in Naruto’s couch, a book laid open on his chest. He was still wearing the clothes he had borrowed from Naruto’s closet to sleep the previous night, and his hair was still as messy as it had been when he had woken up that morning.

He looked so beautiful it took Naruto’s breath away.

“Just thinking about something I need to do,” Naruto said. It wasn’t a lie, after all.

He moved to look out the window again, because if he just kept looking at Sasuke he would lose his cool and tell him right away. He _needed_ to at least think of the appropriate words to say because that would give him some confidence, or at least that’s what he convinced himself of to gain more time.

He wondered if he was ready to lose this –just Sasuke, laying on his couch like he _belonged_ there, like there was no other place he should be. Sasuke, wearing his clothes and looking astonishingly gorgeous. Was it better to have Sasuke there as his friend once every few months than not having him at all?

Neither one of the options sat right with Naruto, because in reality all he wanted was Sasuke _there,_ all the time.

“Something you need to do… today?” Sasuke asked, and he actually seemed kind of scared that Naruto would leave.

“No,” Naruto quickly replied. “Not today. It can wait.”

He heard Sasuke sigh in relief, and Naruto bit down his bottom lip nervously, moving his hand to the cold glass of the window and running his fingers across it mindlessly, drawing random patterns for a few minutes.

_What about “I have feelings for you”? No, that’s just… not great. “You’re my best friend, but I also want us to be more”? Sounds terrible. Maybe I could just kiss him and let him figure out the rest…_

“I want to talk to you about something,” Naruto finally forced himself to say, because he knew that if he just kept obsessing over the best way to tell him, he would never do it.

He was never one to just stop and think before acting, anyway.

“What is it?” Sasuke asked, and Naruto turned to face him. “Come here,” he added as he sat up to give Naruto more than enough space to sit down next to him.

Naruto slowly walked towards him, sitting on the opposite side of the couch. He didn’t dare to look at Sasuke, because he didn’t want to see his reaction once the words were out of his mouth. He didn’t want to _see_ it when Sasuke rejected him.

“I don’t… want this to… huh…” Naruto started, getting more nervous as the words came out of his mouth. “This doesn’t mean anything. What I’m about to say. I don’t– nothing has to change.”

Naruto didn’t need to look at Sasuke to know he was frowning in confusion. However, he remained quiet, just giving Naruto time to continue.

“I know I can’t ask you to just… not care about it I guess? I wish I could,” he added with a laugh. “I wish I could just tell you this and you’d just… maybe laugh at me and move onto the next topic as if it didn’t matter. But I understand it’s not that easy, and like–”

“Stop rambling or we’re just going to be here until tomorrow,” Sasuke cut him off.

His voice was warm and didn’t intend any harm. He was just trying to reassure Naruto, probably. Or maybe make him not stress out so much about it.

“I just hope that you’ll stay my friend after this,” Naruto mumbled.

“Naruto, I don’t think anything you say now will be a good excuse to _finally_ get rid of y–”

“I’m in love with you,” Naruto quickly interrupted him. “I’ve been in love with you for at least seven years now. And I think it’s about time you knew,” he explained with a soft, nervous laugh.

“Naruto–”

“No, let me finish,” Naruto immediately said, looking down at the way he was twisting his own fingers. “It’s stupid, I know. I thought it’d go away over time, with you being gone for so long while I stayed here. But it didn’t, and if anything, it just got worse and worse. And it’s okay, really. I don’t _mind_ feeling this way for you, even if I know it’ll never be reciprocated. I’m completely happy with just having you as my friend. But I still thought you deserved to know.”

Sasuke didn’t say anything, but Naruto could feel his eyes on him. He still didn’t feel brave enough to look back.

“So maybe that’s why I want you to stay. I want you to stay because I miss you so fucking much every single time that you’re gone. Because even if you don’t want me _that_ way, you’re still my best friend. And I still love spending time with you,” he kept talking, just feeling extremely nervous. “I’m aware you won’t stay, no matter what I say. Please don’t take this as… as a way to finally make you stay or make you feel bad or anything like that. I don’t– it’s not that at all. I just wanted you to know before you left again, because I don’t think I can keep it for myself any longer.”

The silence filled the room, and Naruto was growing more nervous and anxious as the seconds passed. He finally got the courage to look at Sasuke, who was staring at Naruto with a blank expression.

“You’re in love with me,” Sasuke eventually said.

“That’s what I said, yeah,” Naruto agreed, letting out a laugh out of nervousness and embarrassment. “Keep up, asshole,” he added just to be annoying and feel more like himself, more like he wasn’t ruining their entire friendship.

Sasuke let out a soft laugh, but he didn’t say anything. It made some of Naruto’s tension leave his body though, because so far he wasn’t getting the _terrible_ reaction he had expected.

“You really don’t have to do or say anything about it. I just needed to let it out. And if you don’t… want to remain friends, I’d understand.”

It was an obvious lie. He wouldn’t understand, because if he had been able to be secretly in love with him for _years_ and not let it take a toll in their friendship, how could Sasuke be so bothered by it? But he wasn’t going to let him know that, because he didn’t want him to feel bad or pressured to make a decision he didn’t want to make.

If he hurt Naruto, Naruto would just take it as gracefully as he could.

“Is that why you haven’t gotten married to one of your many suitors?” Sasuke said, and he _almost_ sounded like he was trying to joke.

“It wouldn’t be fair to marry one of them when my… heart belong to someone else,” Naruto mumbled embarrassedly.

Sasuke’s eyes bored into him, as if he were trying to decipher Naruto. Whatever he saw there made him smile though, and Naruto felt himself relaxing even more. Because whenever he had imagined telling Sasuke about his feelings, his reactions had always been terrible –yelling at Naruto, punching him, immediately leaving and never coming back were the most common ones Naruto pictured. 

Instead, Sasuke was smiling, and laughing, and trying to joke. Maybe it didn’t have to be the end of their friendship. Maybe they’d just return to their previous dynamics and everything would be okay. It made Naruto feel encouraged and… happy.

“It’s funny, you know,” Sasuke said. “I never thought you’d be braver than I am.”

“What is that supposed to mean?” Naruto asked confused.

“The main reason I keep leaving is because I couldn’t stand the thought of you not loving me the way I love you,” Sasuke said with a shrug in such a casual way, as if it wasn’t a big deal, as if it wasn’t making Naruto’s heart race against his chest.

“What?” was the only thing Naruto could say.

“Obviously, it’s not the only reason. You know that,” Sasuke kept talking, and Naruto nodded because he _definitely_ knew about it all. They had talked about it a million times. “But all of that started becoming easier and… being around _you_ started becoming harder.”

Naruto blinked a few times, unable to believe a single word Sasuke was saying.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Naruto asked slowly.

“Why didn’t _you_ tell me?” Sasuke asked back.

“I asked first, asshole,” Naruto groaned, annoyed. It caused Sasuke to laugh again.

“Because I didn’t think you felt the same,” Sasuke said. “And I didn’t want to lose you too, if you decided you didn’t want to remain friends.”

Naruto stayed quiet, his eyes focused on Sasuke’s face. Sasuke was looking back at him with a gentle smile, as if he were just giving Naruto time to process it all. Naruto returned the smile and looked down at his hands once again, his heart continuing to beat really hard against his chest. Then he felt Sasuke moving closer, slowly cutting short the distance between them. Sasuke still didn’t touch him though, respecting his boundaries, not knowing how badly Naruto was craving for the contact.

“Naruto?” Sasuke said softly, trying to get his attention.

Naruto still refused to look at him, suddenly feeling overwhelmed with his own emotions. He was in love with Sasuke, and Sasuke seemed to feel the same. He had spent too many years fearing rejection, fearing to lose his best friend out of his own stupidity, and instead… Instead, all he did was waste his own time. Time that he could’ve spent with Sasuke.

“Will you… do you mind...?” Naruto whispered.

Sasuke quickly put distance between them again, nodding his head even though Naruto wasn’t looking at him.

“I can go–”

“No!” Naruto said way too quickly. “Please don’t leave.”

It sounded pathetic, it sounded weak. And Naruto couldn’t care about that.

“What do you need?” Sasuke asked slowly, probably confused, but Naruto could hear in his voice the _desperation_ he felt because he wanted to be of help.

“Just… a minute? I need one minute,” Naruto whispered.

Sasuke nodded, and he was probably expecting Naruto to stand up and leave somewhere else, but he didn’t. He just stayed sitting there, moving his hands to his own face and taking deep breaths to calm himself down, to calm the confusing swirl of thoughts in his mind. It was hard to wrap his head around it, around the fact that Sasuke felt the same and that he was _there_ telling him.

Eventually, Naruto turned his head to look at him. Sasuke looked worried and confused, as if he didn’t know if he had messed up or not, if he should move closer or not. But he was looking at Naruto with a look that he had never seen before, full of intensity and feelings that Naruto couldn’t decipher, and it caused his stomach to flutter.

“You love me?” Naruto asked finally, because he still couldn’t believe it.

“That’s what I said. Keep up, moron,” Sasuke replied with a playful smile, repeating the words Naruto had told him earlier.

Naruto smiled again, and this time was more genuine than before. His confusion was slowly starting to get replaced by certainty as he just kept looking at Sasuke, and the calmness that usually accompanied him while he was with him made a reappearance just then.

“Can I move closer?” Sasuke whispered, and Naruto would’ve sworn he had imagined it if he hadn’t seen Sasuke’s lips moving as he formed the words.

Naruto nodded slowly, and Sasuke seemed to sigh in relief as he moved closer to him. Once there was barely a couple of inches of distance between them, Sasuke didn’t do anything else. He just studied Naruto’s features, as if they were the most interesting thing Sasuke had seen in his whole life, as if Naruto’s face held the answers to all of the secrets of the entirety of the universe. Naruto felt his cheeks starting to burn, and it made Sasuke smile.

“What do you want, Naruto?” Sasuke asked in a low voice.

Naruto couldn’t speak, not when Sasuke was so close, making his mind go blank and all of his senses be foggy and just useless. He could only see Sasuke, smell Sasuke’s scent, feel Sasuke’s proximity, hear Sasuke’s voice.

And as Naruto didn’t answer, didn’t even move, Sasuke took the decision for him. He leaned over, really slowly, as if he were trying to give Naruto enough time to pull away.

It was a quick brush of their lips at first. Sasuke just pressed his lips very, very gently against Naruto’s, _barely_ there, and it was about to drive him insane. Sasuke didn’t let it linger for too long either, pulling back just as slowly as he had leaned closer.

Naruto really had to contain himself from whimpering when he pulled back, because he _knew_ he wouldn’t hear the end of it from Sasuke. Instead, he placed both hands on Sasuke’s cheeks, making him move closer again. Sasuke smirked, way too pleased with himself, and Naruto could only wipe it off his face by pressing their lips together once more.

This time their lips slotted together, moving against the other’s still really slow and gently, as if they were hoping the moment would last for as long as they were able to keep a slow pace.

It really was the best thing Naruto had ever experienced in his life. Even though he had shared a fair share of kisses throughout his life, he had never felt like this, like he could die right that moment and he wouldn’t even care because of how happy he felt.

Naruto didn’t really know how long it had been –whether it had been just a minute or a whole hour. The kiss was kept soft and loving, like they were both trying to prove the other exactly how they felt just by the movement of their lips. But eventually Sasuke pulled back, and his eyes were filled with tears, but not a single one streamed down his cheeks.

He was smiling. It made Naruto’s heart skip a beat.

“Please don’t leave tomorrow,” Naruto pleaded in a whisper, watching Sasuke closely, scared of saying the wrong thing and scaring him off.

“Is that an order, Hokage-sama?” Sasuke asked teasingly.

Naruto couldn’t help his smile.

“No,” he replied simply. He hoped Sasuke knew he wouldn’t use his authority like that. That Sasuke was free to go if that’s what he wanted, but… “It’s a request. Because I really want you to stay with me a little longer. Just a few days,” he whispered.

“I can definitely stay,” Sasuke promised. “For longer than a few days, too.”

And then he leaned over to kiss Naruto again.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you liked this! Please let me know what you think, constructive criticism is always appreciated! ❤


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